Got my MOJO back!

Well this is probably the hardest blog I have written. Not because of the reasons you may think. I didn't know how to face my supporters and followers of my weight loss journey that started way back May 2010. As many of you that were following me know-I went from 275 pounds down to 185 pounds by October 2011. Well let's fast forward to today, January 28, 2013....I now weigh 222 pounds---be mindful I lost 8 pounds this past week. So I see you doing the math...probably thinking damn she gained how many pounds back (45 pounds).

So as you see not only did I feel like I let myself down, but all those that saw me as inspiration or supported me in this weight loss journey. So what happened you ask?----one simple word----LIFE happened and that word that black people don't so often talk about (depression). In 2011 I walked away from my job of 15 years to pursue my destiny of owning an educational consulting company..well that didn't quite go as well as I would have liked...however, my math summer camp was a success. I learned a lot during this period...but due to mounting bills, etc...I was back in the market looking for a job ( depression) reared its ugly head, because I felt like a failure. I clearly remember laying in bed and not wanting to get up to do nothing...but thanks to the support of my mom, my boyfriend and family I was able to pull myself out that dark place.
It still was hard for me to get back to the level of working out and commitment to eating right...because now the job was making my life stressful and miserable...so I went back into my dark place.

Well y'all I am glad to say I am finally back to the person I used to be on my weight loss journey. I am focused, committed, and determined to reach my goal. I am sure of this because I did something yesterday I haven't done in months...ran/walk 10 miles at once---which I ran 4 of those miles non-stop. Even at tonight's workout with my trainer Kenya Crooks I felt the old me inside come out. I got my MOJO back y'all. Stay with me on this ride as I focus and finish to reach my final goal weight.

It is my hope and prayer that my blog will inspire people..particularly those on a weight loss journey...to remain steadfast and know that this is a life-long journey...not a momentary journey.

On the sideline.....not out of the game



Hey yall it has been a while since I last blogged. But these last couple of weeks have been full of highs and lows. Thanks to Kenya Crooks I had my 90 pound weight loss photo shoot(high) , which was awesome. Then today (low) happened and I had to share it with you all. So first I will vent then I will hopefully inspire and motivate at least one person to stay in the game.

Monday was the beginning of a weight loss revolution organized by my awesome trainer Kenya Crooks www.thekenyacrooks.com . I was so excited about being able to workout for at least a whole week with many of my friends that say I inspired them to join Kenya's weight loss campaign this week. Yes I worked out twice on Monday, once with the D'Ville Divas and the newbies and the Cascade Crew (the numbers at Cascade was mad crazy...it looked like we organized a workout flashmob). Well by the end of the night my ankle was hurting and continued to hurt more and more with each passing day. Well this morning I went to the leg and foot doctor and at first based on the xray he saw that I had an inflammed joint and suspected that was where my pain was coming from because when he pushed down on that area it hurt like hell. So I get this shot from hell that makes me cry and then he gives me this ankle brace contraption (nothing is simple anymore). Well I get home and my ankle is still hurting and actually feels worse. So I go back to the doctor an hour later and of course he says that all he sees and what must be the continued source of my pain is an aggravated hairline fracture I acquired while slipping down some stairs when I taught in Miami in 1998. He is like you need to stay off your feet as much as possible until you come back in two weeks. I am like are you kidding me.

Well can I just say what upset me the most was knowing that I wasn't going to be able to workout this week with all my friends and others who said I had inspired them to take that first step to a new healthy way of life. Well what I would like to say to all the young ladies that are working out with Kenya, you are going to run into situations that may ATTEMPT to put you on the sideline. However, let me just say that because you are on the sideline doesn't mean you are out of the game. You have to say, What can I do from the sideline to keep myself in the game? Well I immediately texted Kenya and asked for the Ustream password so that I could do the recorded videos that would allow me to still get a great workout without having to be on my feet.  In addition, I will also be swimming everyday, using mostly my upperbody of course, but hey I will still be burning calories and still in the game.

Ladies and whoever else is following this blog, do not allow unexpected circumstances to take you out of the game completely. Before you just throw in the towel, at least explore your options. I do hope that when I do come off the sideline, many of my dear friends and the other ladies that have joined the Kenya Crooks weight loss revolution are still in the game and moving the ball down that field to their desired endzone. Love you all and keep me in your prayers these next two weeks.

WHEN A TRAINER IS MORE THAN A WORD!

Hey y'all...so many of you have been following me as I blog. On this weight loss journey it is not just about me, but the people that inspire me as well. I dedicated one blog to my girl Nicole who lost over 160 pounds to reach her goal. Well tonight’s blog is dedicated to my trainer…The World’s Greatest Weight Loss Expert..The Kenya Crooks - www.thekenyacrooks.com.

So I know there are many people that have trainers that they work out with, but “Is your trainer more than the word implies?” Well I can say unequivocally, that Kenya Crooks is more than just a trainer.  Now let me give you some background knowledge on my relationship with Kenya. I have been working with Kenya since May of 2010. There are times when we have agreed, disagreed, laughed, cried, and just plain got on each other’s nerves. Now with that being said, Kenya has not only changed my life, but many lives across this country….yes he has clients in other states that work out with us also.

To me and many others, Kenya is more than a trainer….Kenya is a motivator, prayer warrior, comforter, provider, leader, teacher, inspirer, supporter, trailblazer, God sent, even a comedian at times. When we leave Kenya’s workouts our relationship with him doesn’t end. He immediately uses the best communication tool (Facebook) out there to become a sounding board for many of us. He congratulates us on our successes; he listens to our issues that are holding us back from being the people God wants us to be.  He keeps track of our eating habits, workout habits even when we are not with him. I think the picture phone was invented just for Kenya…we have to take pictures of our meals, scales, workout display and send it to him…it is called ACCOUNTABILITY. 

I know without a fact that I would not be 85lbs lighter today had it not been for Kenya being more than just a TRAINER. I know this because I’ve had a trainer before and he didn’t have half the enthusiasm and zeal about MY weight loss as Kenya does and ultimately I quit. Anyone can sit there and bark out workout routines and jog around the block with you, but are they just as passionate about your weight loss as you are and do they take it personal if you don’t succeed. Well Kenya does take it personal…and that you know he is vested just as much as you are in making it to the ultimate goal.  Finally, the thing I love the most about Kenya Crooks is that I know without a fact that it is not about the money I pay him each month, but about helping me be the healthy person God intended me to be.  For that Mr. Crooks…I say thank you.

Do you see what I see?

Hello everyone I know it has been a minute, but I am back with thoughts on a weight loss issue many of you that are in your weight loss journey will undoubtedly face. The issue I am referring to is seeing the new you others see. I know you are thinking what exactly is the issue?

As many of you that have been following me are aware, I have lost 80 pounds so far in this journey. Well those of you that have lost any amount weight recognize the subtle changes that your body makes each day. Well as I have been loosing my weight, many of my friends, family, and coworkers (supporters) have commented on how small I am. OK in my mind I am thinking well yeah I have lost a good amount of weight, but I am in no way small. Now I have been struggling with this issue for at least the last 2 months. However, it really didn't hit me until this past week how-- I do not see what others see when I look in the mirror. To be honest, two weeks ago was the first time I looked at my face and really thought damn my face is skinny, I look different.

Well as I was preparing for my trip to New Orleans, I had to go buy some new summer clothes and I didn't even have to think about going to Lane Bryant..woohoo.  Well I bought these cute white shorts from New York and Company, you know the ones with the cuff. Well I put them on and thought (out loud) dang my thighs look big...my mom looked at me like I had lost my mind. Be mindful several individuals had made comments about how small my legs had gotten. My mom said if you think your legs look big now, what did you think before you lost the weight. It takes a momma to put it into perspective. Then I got to New Orleans and I got to see some friends I had not seen since last year, and they were like you look great. So when I said "Yeah but I have about 50 more pounds to loose" they looked at me like..are you crazy, you will be tooo skinny. I explained to them that I don't see what everyone around me see.  As a matter of fact, the establishment we were in had a mirror staring me in my face, and I looked in that mirror and my face looked fat too me.  My friend since we were kids (pictured below), said with concern and love in her voice...."You look great. You do not look fat. Be proud of what you have accomplished."



Now if you have not made the connection yet...let me enlighten you. As you continue on your weight loss journey keep everything in perspective. I now realize why anorexics become the way they are, because when they look in the mirror, they do not see what others see. We sit back and judge them, but I can now relate..no I know I am no where near anorexic, but if I had not recognize that I have an issue with what I see in the mirror, I could easily be there one day.

I encourage you to always take an assessment of what your body looks like through before and after pictures, because when I do look at my pictures I do see the difference most of the time; but only if the pictures are side by side. More importantly, keep supporters that are going to keep it real with you...because they may have to say OK enough is enough, even when you may not see that enough is enough.  Be blessed!

What area of my life needs a new LENS?



Well I am back..with a new lens and REFOCUSED on the goal. From the last post you know I was struggling because my weight loss journey had kinda stalled. So I had to apply what I call the 3 Rs..Reflect, Revamp, and Refocus.

I stopped to reflect on what was getting in the way of me making continuous progress on my weight loss journey. Also, I had to reflect on how I was sabotaging myself and take a real honest look at the food choices and eating plans I was now utilizing.

After reflecting, I decided to revamp my weight loss program which I shared with you all in the last blog. I went back to the eating basics..meats, fruits, vegetables, drinking a gallon of water daily, journal my foods and calories. As far as exercise, I got in 2 workouts a day 3 days of the week and kept count of the calories I was burning. Finally, the biggest revamp not weighing myself every day, but now I weigh every 3 days.

Finally, the most important thing is to refocus on my weight loss goal. I constantly envision myself at the goal weight or size I would like to see myself. I go to bed already focused on what I am going to eat the next day and what workouts I am going to do. I know in order for me to finish, I have to remain focused and not let anything cloud my LENS. Also, I could do none of this without the word of God leading me and giving me strength. My daily read is from  Prayers That Avail Much by Germaine Copeland...The prayer I read is titled "Renewing the Mind". I find this prayer to be particular beneficial, because this whole weight loss process requires a renewing of the mind if it is to be permanent.

Now let me just say it is hard to do the refocus stage if you have not done the other two. You have to reflect so that you can know what to revamp in an effort to refocus the LENS on the ultimate goal. Now this blog is of course about my weight loss journey. However, when I write these blogs I write them in the hopes that you can apply whatever I am talking about to other areas of your life. So having said that, ask yourself the question "What area of my life needs a new lens?" I encourage you to ask the question and then apply the 3 Rs..reflect, revamp, and refocus.  If you don't mind, please leave a comment sharing how you will apply the 3 Rs to your life.

Today I shall be transformed by the renewing of my mind, that I may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Love y'all and thanks for the support. BTW pass the link for the blog to others. Many thanks to my awesome trainer Kenya Crooks..www.thekenyacrooks.com

Down But Not Out!!!

Before May 2010

After May 2011

After sitting and watching the Heat vs. Mavs...it got me thinking about how the Heat must feel right now. Yeah they lost..but the great thing about life, they get another chance next year. What does that have to do with me and my weight loss journey you say..well these past two weeks for me have been hard trying to get to my 100 lb loss mark.  I have been at a plateau for several weeks and seems like no matter what I did nothing was working. 

So I said let me think about the things I may have been doing to sabotage myself...Well first off all I can say I have probably stressed myself out by trying to hard, instead of just doing what I know works and just go with that. Instead, I have been trying different diets or eating plans (Eat right for your blood type, etc).

Also, I consider myself a serial WEIGHER...what does that mean, I weigh myself everyday...sometimes 3 times a day..which leads me to either get depressed about not loosing any weight or just 1 pound. I want to see the kind of numbers I saw when I first started loosing weight..2-3 pounds every 2 days...but my mom said you have to realize your body is not the same as it was then. OK so most of the fat/weight that remains to be lost is in my stomach area....I mean damn Kenya has us doing 1000 sometimes 2000 ab exercises and it seems like the fat just sits there fighting back. Plus I started doing two a days, and off course as soon as got back from walking in the morning I would weigh myself, and get upset if I had not lost a pound after walking 5 miles.

Well I took this weekend to reflect and decided I was going to change somethings to hopefully help me keep it moving to my ultimate goal...FYI that is not a certain weight, but a certain look.

• stop weighing myself everyday (Wednesday and Sunday only)
• go back to the basics of eating (calorie counting for one)
• accepting what the scale says and not letting it interfere with my mood (see bullet one)
• continue doing two a days as many times as possible
• journal my foods daily (helps with bullet 2)

As the title of this blog states, I am down but not out. I have to remember that I have come a long way in this journey and should be proud of myself for making it this far. The pictures of above speak to my progress and transformation thus far).  Now as Kenya would say...Let's finish!

Milestones along the journey

May 4, 2010..."Started working out with Kenya. I am excited and scared at the same time.  Excited about the possibility of finally finding a way to get off these 100 plus pounds, but scared that some emotional trauma may come in and derail it; for you see I am an emotional eater. Food is my comforter and it makes me feel better...TODAY HAS TO BE THE FIRST DAY OF A NEW LIFE FOR ME!"

Hello all it is me again..those words you see above were written by me in my journal over a year ago. Along this journey I can admit that I have had some emotional traumas, which explains why I am still 25 pounds shy of my 100 pound mark; however, unlike past times, the food did not make me totally loose control and go into that really dark place.  I have learned along this journey that there will be bad days along with the good days. But I now know how to overcome them and NOT turn to the one thing that had kept me imprisoned in a body God had not designed for me...food.

So now to the good days along this journey...MY MILESTONES. If you are on a true and committed journey, you will and should have milestones that you can celebrate.  This blog is to share my milestones with you.  Now I am sure you are thinking well she hasn't hit the 100 mark yet...well guess what you don't have to wait until the end to celebrate...you can celebrate along the way.

May 4, 2010..I began at 272 pounds
May 8, 2010..lost my first 10 pounds
May 15, 2010..lost my first 15 pounds
May 22, 2010..lost my first 20 pounds
June 18, 2010..lost my first 25 pounds
June 24, 2010..lost my first 30 pounds
Between June and July I was able to run 2 full miles nonstop
August 15, 2010...lost my first 40 pounds
September 5, 2010..lost my first 50 pounds
Between September and January..taught myself how to maintain and adjust, very important step for me.
April 21, 2011..lost my first 60 pounds
April 30, 2011..lost my first 70 pounds
May 3, 2011..Shopped at New York and Company (one of the best days) and not Lane Bryant
May 21, 2011..lost my first 75 pounds (under 200 pounds for the first time since 1992)

Well of course there were other milestones in between that I did not write down, but are etched in my mind..the first time I ran 3 and 4 full miles nonstop, doing more than 10 straight sit ups, swimming 10 laps of the pool..needless to say when it comes to the workout milestones..I am getting those each week because Kenya Crooks has pushed us to a whole new level.

I hope that with this blog, it will get you thinking about the journey you are on or the one you are about to begin, and encourage you to journal and celebrate your milestones..trust me it will help you along the way.

Be blessed and inspire someone to be better than they were yesterday!